Regret is not a word I like to use too often. It has negative connotations of wishing away what were once beautiful memories and lusting after the unattainable. No amount of will in the world can change the past. Admittedly, I don’t have many regrets in my life. I’m told there is no need for such desires.”Everything happens for a reason” as my optimistic friends tell me only too often. We are on a journey, through the scattered fortunes of day-to-day life in search of our true passion – the elusive “dream”.
5 years ago when I set off for Austria, I never imagined that this beautiful mountain paradise would become my home. A place which feels more comforting than the town I was brought up in or the cosy home where my family live now. Home is where you make it and for me, I made it together with fellow alpine enthusiasts and escapists who helped make this journey everything it is today. It is all utterly surreal to the existence I knew back in the U.K.
The only regret I have is not realising this life sooner. I spent much of my late teenage years and early twenties waiting for my life to begin. Waiting and wishing for that spark to guide the way and take me where I needed to be.
Where I thought I needed to be.
For too long I lived for someone else, pursuing other people’s dreams like studying at university and applying for corporate jobs I had absolutely no interest in. I made myself very unhappy believing that I was worth more than the wonderful life that I was already living. It suddenly became apparent that I had to stop waiting and start living. My life had already begun, a long time ago and I was quite simply squandering it doing what I felt was expected for a girl of my age, academic skill or social background. We have to create our own path regardless of the one we started out on.
The sparks appear every day, tiny little sparks that grow into opportunities when nourished. I just regret not noticing them sooner.